An Addition to the Family
by JayceV
Summary: Duke signed up to train with Batman and fight on the crime-ridden streets of Gotham. Duke did not sign up for four psychotic brothers, a wise-cracking grandpa, and a dad whose trying his best. Oh well, there's no going back now.


**This is basically my take on Duke's first week at the manor. I'm a sucker for these fics just cause Duke sees things the way an outsider would and it sucks that he's not listed under characters for Batfics. For now, this is a oneshot, but I might add some chapters of Duke spending one-on-one time with each Batkid.**

* * *

"Do you have to chew so loudly?"

"Do you always have to be so incompetent?"

"Just eat with your mouth closed."

"Don't tell me what to do, Vermin."

When Batman offered to train Duke, he was ecstatic. That was the dream after all, right? Working side-by-side with Gotham's finest. However, Bruce conveniently left out the other details that came with the job. For example, Duke had not realized that working under Batman meant dealing with his four sons. Bruce also failed to mention that said sons were animals.

"You're being disgusting."

"One more word and I'll rip out your larynx and use it as a jump rope."

See what he meant? Sure, Duke understood that brothers weren't supposed to get along. It was instinct for siblings to fight. But this... this was a whole new level of fighting. Just yesterday, he had seen Damian throwing knives at a dartboard with Tim's face pinned to it. If he stayed at the manor any longer, he might witness a murder.

The bickering only escalated in the past ten minutes. It had gone from a small argument to a screaming match. Yeah, that was how it usually went.

"_Boys_." Tim and Damian paled. It seemed Bruce was done trying to hide behind his newspaper. "Behave. What kind of impression are you giving Duke?"

His heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. Even after a week of living with them, Duke could never bring himself to make eye contact with his childhood heroes. Could anyone really blame him? They were _literally_ licensed to kill.

"Yeah, wouldn't want Narrows to get the wrong idea," Jason taunted. Oh, Jason Todd, the dead man walking. Out of all of Bruce's wards, he was the most frightening. Duke couldn't put his finger on it. Perhaps, it was the fact that Jason was a psychotic murderer who didn't bat an eye before killing a criminal. No, he _laughed_ instead. Duke shuddered at the thought.

"Aw, Jay. Play nice. Look, you're scaring him." Ah yes, and then there was Dick, the complete opposite of Jason. He was the most welcoming Robin by far. A little too welcoming if you asked Duke. Not that he was a bad guy, but Dick never had much regard for personal space. The guy was just a sucker for giving hugs. He once caught Damian in his clutches and despite the many protests—more like death threats— he refused to let go.

Jason stroked his helmet absentmindedly. "Good. Newbie's gotta grow a spine if he wants to be in this line of work."

"Jason, no helmets at the table," said Bruce.

He rolled his eyes. "But then where is Helmet supposed to go? I already gave his seat to the new kid."

That was another thing Duke didn't like about him. Jason loved to talk about Duke like he wasn't even there. If it were anyone else, Duke would've spoken up for himself, but the sight of Jason's holster made him think better of it.

"Yes, that was very... nice of you," Bruce grimaced, "But do I need to remind you that your helmet doesn't need a seat in the first place?"

Jason's face contorted into a strange frown. Had it not been _the _Red Hood, Duke would have called it a pout. He opened his mouth to speak, but was— thankfully— interrupted.

"Drake, I know you live like a pig, but that doesn't mean you can hog all the peas," said Damian.

Tim rolled his eyes. "I'm the farm animal? You have a _cow _as a pet."

And there they go again.

"How dare you. I am son of the Bat, heir to the-"

"Ugh. Do you rehearse that speech in your sleep or something?" Jason scoffed.

Bruce sighed. "What did I just say about-"

"Fine, Damian. You want your peas? You can have them." And then Tim did the unspeakable. He flung a spoonful of peas right in the kid's face.

Duke breathed in sharply. This was not good. He recalled a documentary from science class. _The mighty lion stalks the prey, waiting for the perfect time to go for the kill. Then he pounces, sinking his teeth into the victim's throat and crushing the windpipe. _Yeah, that sounded about right.

Red as a tomato, Damian launched a fistful of mashed potatoes across the table. Unfortunately, the trajectory was just tad off, putting Dick at the receiving end of the hit.

"Hey! Not cool, Dami," said Dick. Jason, however, was doubled over laughing as Dick picked bits of food from his hair.

Dick narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you think this is funny?"

With a smirk, Dick hurled a spoonful of pudding at his brother. Duke sighed. He had been looking forward to eating Alfred's dessert.

"You're going down, Golden Boy." Dick yelped in surprise as Jason passed on throwing food and instead, vaulted over the dinner table and body slammed into his older brother. Glancing at the boys wrestling on the floor, Tim and Damian shared a look of malice before jumping on the table and doing the same. Duke spared a glance at Bruce, wondering when he would put a stop to this. Bruce merely buried his head in his hands, mumbling something about getting too old for this.

The fighting worsened as Tim shoved Damian's face into Duke's plate of food. "Sorry, Duke," muttered Tim before cackling like a mad scientist on crack.

Duke shrugged. He had lost his appetite anyway. Silently rising from his chair, Duke decided to retire to his room. He hardly believed this was his life now. They always said to never meet your heroes. Duke would have to get used to it though. After all, if he couldn't survive a normal Tuesday with the Wayne family, he'd never be able to face someone like Scarecrow or the Riddler.

Just as Duke passed through the doorway, he heard a scream followed by "Oh shit, Bruce... Bruce he stabbed me. He actually stabbed me-"

Duke shook his head. Poor Alfred would be stuck cleaning up the mess... and possibly burying a body. Yeah, he'd have to get used to this.


End file.
